Lewis Black Celebrates the End of Dry January and Other Ridiculous Drinking Trends | The Daily Show

 ah alcohol it's why I get up in the morning how my mom made it through her pregnancy and why I'm not allowed within 50 ft of a horse booze is the most committed relationship I'll ever have but some people know nothing about commitment dry January the challenge of giving of drinking for the first month of the year is growing in popularity happy dry January it's the month where folks ditch the booze and go alcohol free one report found that 25% of American adults completed dry January last year A lot of people are going to be doing dry January I have done dry January every year now for 3 years well goody goodie for you it must be nice to have the luxury of giving up booze while the rest of us are trapped in reality wildfires bird flu crippling gambling deaths if you're not blacking out every single night you're not paying attention and by the way why are we giving up alcohol in January it's colder than Jack Frost dick all your fat friends are posting gym selfies and it gets dark faster than Justin Trudeau's face on Halloween oh please me I'd much rather give up booze in May the weather is warm and I'm already coked up for cinko DEA but for those of you not sure about dry January don't worry there's something even dumber for some people that looks dry for others it might look damp a damp January would mean only drinking on special occasions adding more dry days to your month or consuming fewer drinks in each sitting damp January are you [ __ ] me damp January sounds like someone I paid for a lap dance in the 80s just say drinking less not everything needs a label I'm in a short-term situationship no you got a hand job from a coat check girl now move on with your life quitting booze may seem like a good idea today but once tick tock goes away you're going to be getting hammered at Dave and Busters with me and Pete hexit fair warning I tend to [ __ ] my pants on Dance Dance Revolution now I get it some of you don't like fun but if you're out with your [ __ ] friends and you can't drink booze surely there must be something you can drink during dry January people sip on mocktails cocktails without any alcohol content there are great non-alcoholic wines beers and spirits that are on the market today Global sales of no and low alcohol products reaching more than $13 billion last year companies are cashing into Stars releasing non-alcoholic products like Katy Perry's booze free beverage line Des swwa a great time and Tom Holland's non-alcoholic beer company Bureau this is uh from proxies this is their bubbly Rosé you add alcoholic you wanted to you could you could woe an alcohol free drink that you can add alcohol to if only Thomas Edison were alive to see this look if I ever order an Elderberry hibiscus Fizz be sure to garnish it with a loaded gun these drinks sound almost as fun as getting an enema which by the way you can also add alcohol too it's called boofing Google it but listen if the eighth best Spider-Man can cash in on the mocktail boo so can I introducing Louis Black's dry January bodka it's just regular vodka and you can sit in the corner and watch me drink it it even comes with a blanket to throw over me once I pass out now that's what I call a situationship [Music]

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